History Of Al-anon

What's on

GUIDELINES What's on is published in the Eastern Courier on Wednesdays and www.easterncourier.co.nz to notify readers about meetings and events of non-profit organisations. Keep notices brief, mentioning the event, venue, time and contact number. Fax notices to What's On at: 265-1285. Email ec@snl.co.nz. Post PO Box 76-400, Manukau 2013. The deadline is 4pm Thursday.

Songs for You, June 30, 1.30pm, Harlequin Theatre, behind Howick Community Centre, 563 Pakuranga Rd. Admission $5 includes afternoon tea. Door sales or reservations ph Dayle 576-7311.

SeniorNet, Present and past members welcome to the 15th birthday celebrations, 10am, July 1, St Andrew's Church. Past president Brian Erikson's topic is Has the dust settled on broadband yet? Ph Tricia 535-5983.

Refresh, Support and information for single parent families rebuilding their lives together. A community support group meeting is on July 2, 2pm-4pm, Highland Park Community House, Aviemore Drive. Childcare provided. $2 donation. Ph Carla 279-7311.

Country Market, Gifts, crafts, plants, toys, morning teas, community hall beside Alfriston School, cnr Mill and Alfriston roads, 9am-noon, July 2. Spaces available to interested stall holders. Ph Gendy 266-5134.

Dance, Ballroom, classical sequence, latin, modern sequence and new vogue with Albert and Virginia, 7.30pm, July 2, Te Tuhi Centre for the Arts, Reeves Rd, Pakuranga. Ph 576-9275.

Spirit communication, An evening demonstration by international mediums David Thompson and Christine Morgan, 8pm, July 2, Spiritualist Alliance, 120 Carlton Gore Rd, Newmarket. Limited seating, $25 per person or $40 couple. Ph 579-8571 or visit www.spiritall.org.nz for details.

U3A, Pakuranga members hear from Anna Tibbutt on tapestry, its history and types, 1.30pm, July 4, Te Tuhi Centre for the Arts, Reeves Rd. Ph Robin 576-5572 or Bob 534-4496.

Probus, Bucklands Beach combined club meets July 4, 10am, War Memorial Hall, Wharf Rd. The speaker is Gillian Moore from the Fred Hollows Foundation. New members welcome. Ph Rosalie 273-6985.

Burswood, The residents' association holds its AGM on July 6, 6.30pm, East City Wesleyan Church, Burswood Drive. All residents invited. Ph Jennifer 274-1192.

Herb group, Sugar and spice and all things nice is the topic at the meeting, 7.30pm, July 6, Highland Park Community House, Aviemore Drive. Ph Pamela 534-9379.

Ladies friendship, The Howick group meets 1pm, July 6, Guide den, Elliot St, for a craft afternoon. Visitors welcome, ph 534-6430 or 534-6845.

Borderline Dad: 48) An Al-Anon Experience

Some of the books on BPD recommend Al-Anon, and we attended our first meeting last week. It was kind of a small group (8 or 9), but very nice and supportive people. I think it may be helpful in the sense of having a group of people with which to talk and share common experiences. But as with many things in life, you have to take the bad with the good and Al-Anon is no exception. Two major aspects of it are especially disappointing and frustrating, and I suspect my opinions are shared by a significant minority of people who have attended Al-Anon meetings. Even some of the others in the small meeting that we attended share these frustrations, based on conversations I had outside of the meeting itself.  (1) From one of their brochures: “Al-Anon has but one purpose: to help families of alcoholics.” This strong focus on alcoholism comes through in their literature and the standard material that is read aloud in each meeting (including AA’s “12 Steps”.) Nevertheless, everyone who actually attends the group seems to realize that Al-Anon’s approach is just as relevant to the friends and loved ones of people with eating disorders, meth addiction, BPD, etc. It’s as though Al-Anon is afraid of losing its identity by diversifying, even though it would be a no-brainer to do so. I wonder how many people could have benefitted from Al-Anon, but looked no further because of its stated “one purpose”? (2) Al-Anon endorses AA’s 12 Steps as required for the alcoholic to recover, and recommends them as the basis for a “rewarding way of life” for family members. More than half of the 12 Steps require a belief in God. This is softened in the Al-Anon literature with statements such as this from their website: “An important principle of Al-Anon recovery is belief in a ‘Higher Power.’ Al-Anon does not endorse any particular religion or religious belief (or lack of religion), but members are encouraged to use their faith in a Higher Power as a tool of recovery.” In spite of the disclaimer, it’s pretty obvious via references to God, prayer, “Him,” and more, that the 12 Steps are talking about THE God of Judeo-Christian tradition. That’s fine for the 80% or so (in this country) that already believe. For anyone else—even deists who believe in a non-intervening, non-miracle-working God—the system only sets you up to fail if you take it at its word.

Concepts of chemical dependency

Al-Anon narratives, women, self-stories, and mutual aid

Love on the rocks, men, women, and alcohol in post-World War II America

History of Al-Anon in N.S.W., 1954-1976

The Glasgow Dragon